CHALLENGES

I have gone through a lot and thought that it will get better and you thought that nothing can get worst than what you have experienced before and you will see that light after that long tunnel... it doesn't.. you see i have been feeling a lot of pain inside that i thought for a while that i can shake it off... and then later on you find yourself buried deeper than what you can imagine.. I am beside myself right now.. I have gone through an abusive relationship, diagnose twice for cancer, got stabbed and mugged... I can live with that but watch my daughter destroy herself and knowing that you have done everything to help her is what i cant live with. I have been going through and I have always manage to shook it off but this time I cant shake it off.. I know it is nothing personal it is some kind of chemical imbalance, but I am a mother and every time you look at your child, you ask yourself constantly where did you go wrong... what else can I do.. what did you do to deserve this.. you wish that maybe if you blink your eyes everything is going to be ok.. or maybe you will find solace in rocking yourself back and forth... but i feel like the world just exploded in front of you... that there is nothing in this world that can make you feel better and there is no will to live... My daughter is my life and my life is in shambles.. I don't know how to move on... I have forgotten about my most favorite passage that the sun sets to give birth to tomorrow and tomorrow is another day for hope.. i lost that.. i lost the magic... i lost myself...